


Men in Trunks

by XIntensity_FallsX



Series: Reincarnated Falls AU [4]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bill and Ford go on a date! :D, Bill's bad ex boyfriend, Bill's bad life choices, Billford - Freeform, Heartbreak, Human bill, M/M, Mystery, Recent college grad Stanford Pines, Stanley's bad life choices, Violence, Young Stan Twins, but not graphic enough to warrant the flag, conman bromance turned up to 11, mentions of attempted "human" sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 23:19:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11977185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XIntensity_FallsX/pseuds/XIntensity_FallsX
Summary: Stanford Pines is fully moved in to Gravity Falls, living in one of the extra bedrooms in the Mystery Shack. As he settles into life with a not so human boyfriend, some mysteries are finally solved! Yet on the horizon, a bigger, more ominous mystery begins in the town of Gravity Falls.Part four of an AU where Stanley gets to Gravity Falls first with Bill Cipher in tow.





	Men in Trunks

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to Reincarnated Falls! Where down is up, and up is down.
> 
> As always, Bill in this story is reincarnated into a "human". He's not quite the same character as a result. Please take this into consideration when you read the story! Yes, we've moved fully into the need for quotes! :D Stuff goes down in this chapter!
> 
> In keeping with this tradition, I've decided to dedicate this one to my friend Cath. She's always been there for me, I know I can count on her, much like Bill can count on Stanley. She's always got my back, and I appreciate that more than I could ever really describe. Friends you can rely on and trust are the greatest <3

The lantern sat on the bench of the  _Stan of War II._ It cast a soft light on the old wood, and worn blanket at the bottom of the boat.The small boat in the middle of the placid lake, as the evening sky hung above them. Stanford Pines was laying on the bottom, with Bill resting beside him. The distant sounds of many crickets filled the warm summer air. For the longest time, neither one of them spoke. There was no reason to. Stanford placed his arm around Bill, a smile on his face as the other man moved closer to him. Bill soon had his head resting on Stanford's chest, with a smile on his face. "So. Fordsy." Bill began. "This is an excellent time to ruin everything, wouldn't you say?"

Stanford stiffened. He turned to look down at Bill, expecting to see a joking smile on his face. Instead, he was met with a somber expression. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I just... I want to talk. I got a lot of darkness in my life, Sixer. I feel like I should tell you some of it. It's not fair to you if I don't.  _So_. Let's play a game, shall we? We'll take turns. You ask a question, I'll spit out some Bill history. Then it's my turn to ask you one. Go ahead! Ask me anything, IQ. I'm your open book tonight."

"O-oh." Stanford stared up at the stars, watching them for a good long while. He threaded his hands through Bill's thick, curly hair. "When we first met, you called yourself the Nightmare King. Though... you've never really stated why."

Bill blinked up at the night sky. "Well, I'll be damned. I never did. You're right. Heh. Had you wanted a reading, you would have known why. When I started out with your brother, I was reading fortunes in a corner of the Mystery Shack. I needed a gimmick, so I said I was the Nightmare King- the all-knowing master of darkness and things that go bump in the night. The mystique really helped get me established with enough credit to have my own shop. People really bought into it. One of these days, I will have to give you a fortune telling session with all the bells and whistles."

Stanford chuckled. "My mother was so excited to hear that you tell fortunes. She's told mine, and she's insisted every time that there's some tall, dark stranger in my future and... I... oh. Heh." He rubbed his forehead. "I ah... I guess she was right."

"You forgot handsome, but I'll forgive it." Bill grinned.  "My turn. I think I'm going to ask the same sort of questions you ask me, keep it interesting. So. Sixer, Fordsy, IQ, Brainiac, Six- which nickname do you like the best?"

"The best?" Stanford's face turned a slow, steady shade of red. "I... ah. The best, huh? Er... I like... I like it when you call me..." He cleared his throat roughly, and in a small voice, he continued. " _Fordsy_."

Bill's grin continued to grow. "Oooohhh, I knew it. I  _KNEW_  you liked it when I called you Fordsy." He poked him lightly in the stomach, making him jump in surprise. "Good soft ball opener. Give me a more challenging one. I can take it,  _Fordsy_." 

Stanford shifted his glasses, staring harder up at the night sky again to avoid looking at Bill. "Alright. Since... Since I want to know what I'm up against... What about... what about your last ex? What were they like?"

"Mm." He tightened his fist around Stanford's shirt. "That's a good question. Don't worry, though. He couldn't hold a candle to you and never will be in his wildest dreams."

"Do you want to answer it? You don't have to if it was really awful, I just-"

"No." Bill mumbled. "But I will tell you anyway. Unlike  _some people_  in this boat, I keep my promises. Mr. 'I swear I won't go into the forest by the spiders'. Anyway... it wasn't long after we moved into to Gravity Falls. I ran into a demon in the forest one night while I was out by myself, letting off some steam. He was charming, funny, available, and had a great name... Bebxahl. Plus, he had four eyes- that was pretty much all I needed at the time. I should have been more careful, but I was ah... looking for distractions from setting things up with Stanley at the Mystery Shack, so it was fun to run off into the forest and go to some freaky parties now and then. He let me be wild, be free. Be weird! And really... I happened to like that he had extra body parts, and blue skin."

"I'm  _so_ glad you like extra body parts."

"Well, I'm currently lacking one." Bill grinned at him and tapped his eye patch. "It's not all fun and games being a cyclops. Gotta have my lovers pick up the slack."

"Heh." Ford looped his arms around Bill. "So... what happened?"

"Mmphn. Well..." Bill began and felt himself drifting off into the memory as he struggled to figure out how to exactly tell Stanford what happened. Stanford may have spoken to him. May have said a word to bring him back. It was of no use. Bill was physically in the boat, but his mind had gone someplace else.

_Snap._

_Bill looked up at his hands. They were pinned out at his side by a pair of worn cuffs_ _, like his ankles_ _. The metal was dull in most parts, and the edge of them was worn down. Bits of rust clung to the surface of them. Even with a good yank_ _or a kick_ _, they_ _didn't_ _give way from_ _the slab_ _of wood_ _he was hanging_ _shirtless_ _from._ _He looked_ _at_ _intricate design in the middle of the_ _floor, never having noticed it before in his previous visits. Then again, he had never been attached to_ _a table from this angle either. It resembled a large_ _maw with_ _many pointed teeth_ _,_ _surrounded by swirls. He followed the deep, embedded designs all the way_ _back_ _to the end of the table he was attached to. He tried to move his foot to touch one of_ _the_ _lines, but he did not reach them. He winced at the sensation of the metal cuff against his skin._ _If_ _he moved them too much, they'd be rubbed raw_ _quick._ _He_ _frowned and cleared his throat. "Hey,_ _Beb_ _. What ah... what gives? When you said you wanted to try something new, I thought you actually bought some new stuff. This whole table contraption seems a bit ancient. I mean, whatever floats your goat, I suppose..."_

_"Shut. Up."_

_Bill blinked at the words, furrowing his brow. "_ _Wh_ _-what? Are we doing some of that role play sort of thing? I guess we can, I mean... Why not, right?" He smiled a_ _shaky smile, watching him fuss over something on a table._ _Bebxahl's_ _large frame blocked the view_ _from whatever it was_ _._

_His thick fist pounded on the table, rattling something_ _metallic_ _on_ _it_ _s_ _surface._ _"What is it with you? I know you're not stupid. Follow. A simple. Direction. Shut_ **_up_ ** _, Bill."_

_His smile twitched, his lips lowering. "O-okay." He let his head rest against the surface of the table, his eye still watching him work. After another five minutes,_ _Bebxhal_ _turned to him once more. His hand was wrapped around the handle of a large, sturdy knife._

_"Well. I can't believe it's finally time, but it's finally time. You were the absolute worst to deal with, Bill. You always were in my hair, always wanting my_ _attention_ _. I had to put up with_ _you_ _way_ _more_ _than any of the others._ _I_ _am_ _more than happy to say we're done._ _There's no more need to be pleasant._ _"_

_"Do-done-"_ _Bill let out a light wheezing sound, as if the air was knocked right out of him. He looked down to the knife. "Are you going to kill me?"_

_"Yes. Thankfully. I wish I could say it's nothing personal, but after dealing with you? It's_ **_personal_ ** _._ _I'm actually going to enjoy this._ _My lord needs_ _human_ _sacrifices_ _to sustain himself, you see. I picked you because you were easy. Throw some attention your way, and I had you eating out of my hand like that."_

_The finger snap made him wince hard. He kept his eyes off of_ _Bebxhal_ _, at least until he was grabbed roughly by the chin and forced to look at him._ _Bill worried his lip before he spoke._ _"I thought-" A finger was shoved roughly against his lips._

_"Whatever stupid_ _'I thought_ _you_ _cared for_ _me' kind of crap_ _that is going to come out of your mouth, it's wrong. I never_ _liked you_ _in the most remote sense of the word_ _. You're a means to an end, and_ _even as that you are hardly worth it. I don't know how that Pines guy puts up with you. I would have thrown you out on your ass a long time ago."_

_Tears rolled down Bill's cheek. "You said you said you-"_

_"Said I_ _wanted_ _you? Yeah. That's what means to an end means. You're not stupid,_ _so_ _don't pretend. Not that it_ _matters_ _in the end_ _._ _You've got moments left. I had to tell you though, you needed to know how I truly feel_ _before it's all over. A small penance for the pain I put up with in dealing with you._ _At_ _least your death will_ _be quick. Goodbye_ _, Bill."_

_The knife sank into his chest._ _It made_ _a_ _thunk_ _when it entered, pushing through relentlessly until the hilt was butt up against his chest._ _The blade was deep in past tissue and organs, yet he still breathed as if it was not_ _there_ _._ _Bill let out a_ _short gasp and a shudder_ _, the tears dripping from his face and down his chest._

_Bebxhal_ _frowned at the knife. No immediate blood came gushing from wounded skin around the metal._ _Nothing flowed from the wound, only the tears from Bill's eye ran down his chest._ _"What--_ _What's with you! You should be a mess! You should be filling up the lines in the floor with your_ _blo_ _-_ _"_

_The door to his dwelling_ _b_ _ur_ _st_ _open, splintering against the wall. "Get away from him!"_ _Stanley stood in the door way, his thick fists adorned in gleaming brass knuckles. He was gritting his teeth until his eyes fell on the knife shoved into Bill's chest. "B-Bill? You—You_ _! You-!" He lunged himself straight toward_ _Bebxhal_ _, throwing his whole body at him. Fists flew up and down, pounding metal into flesh._

_Bill's eye bore down on_ _Stanley, watching_ _him as he fought like a man possessed. "Stanley." The word came out like a whisper. Four loud snapping sounds filled the air as Bill pulled himself off the slab. The cuffs still hung to his wrists and ankles. The knife hit the ground, completely clean of any blood. The wound it came from was gone as well, having knit itself back together after the knife was gone. "Boys, boys,_ **_boys_ ** _. All this violence over me? Well. Can't say a guy isn't flattered!"_

_Both of them looked up toward Bill, their_ _mouth_ _s_ _agape. "You're okay! Jesus, Bill! I thought you were- that you... the knife though-"_

_Bill reached down and peeled Stanley off of_ _Bebxhal_ _._ _As soon as Stanley was on his feet, Bill drove his foot_ _down_ _hard_ _Bebxhal's_ _chest, enough to make him sputter and gasp._ _The_ _demon stared up at him, unblinking_ _, unmoving under Bill's foot_ _. Bill focused on Stanley, smoothing down his shirt. "Thank you, Stanley. You were right about this asshole. I never should have dated him._ _"_

_"O-Oh- Bu-but I saw the knife-"_

_Bill's hands flew up, cupping the sides of Stanley's face. "Thank you for coming to my rescue, and for worrying about me._ _You have no... no idea how much I needed to_ _know someone cared about me._ _Let's_ _get dinner after this. My treat. I'll tell you more about what happened later._ _Can_ _you go wait for me at the bottom of the hill?_ _"_

_"You're crying_ _-"_

_Bill pressed a finger to his lips. "_ _Shh_ _. I'm fine. Just feeling really stupid about things right now_ _. Go. Give me five minutes. I just have to find my shirt and_ **_take out the trash_ ** _."_

_"A-alright. I'll be down at the end of the hill."_

_Once he was gone, Bill looked down at_ _Bebxhal_ _. Red crept up his body, covering every inch of his brown skin. Arms_ _multipl_ _i_ _ed_ _at his sides, and his tongue grew long and black_ _, flicking angrily out of his mouth to lick up any remainder of his tears_ _._ _His eye_ _was black save for the yellow_ _,_ _blaz_ _ing slit and his hair was beyond blond_ _. It matched the same scorching yellow_ _of his eye._ _H_ _e_ _cracked his knuckles on each of his eight hands_ _, his eye_ _never leaving the_ _being_ _on the floor._ _Fire_ _wreathed around_ _him,_ _burning_ _the ground_ _and the design_ _. He took a step forward, the floorboards smoking when his foot pressed down._

_Bebxhal_ _started to crawl backward._ _"What_ **_are_ ** _you?"_

_"A means to an end, or have you forgotten?" Bill's voice was disjointed and crackling. He lifted his arm, and_ _Bebxhal's_ _body rose up into the air. He flailed helplessly. "Don't worry. It's completely_ **_personal_ ** _."_

_"Wait- Wait! I'm sorry, I'm-"_

Bill let out a long, winding sigh, the sounds of screaming slowly becoming more distant until it went back to the darkest parts of his mind. "Sorry I drifted off there, I can't help it when it's a bad memory. There's more of a story to this but I... I don't know. Now's really not the time for it. I'll tell you what I can. ...You have a really great brother, and I just want you know that. Stanley gets a lot of shit, and he deserves none of it. The guy I dated last was a sack of crap who was only using me as a means to an end and Stanley tried to warn me. I didn’t listen. Yet he still came and saved my ass when I was at my lowest with my ex. Bebhxal was planning on killing me, and if it wasn't for your brother, I'd... I'd be in a pretty awful place right now. That guy I dated was a cocky, arrogant asshole. He only listened to me, or ah, pretended to, to get what he wanted out of me. Which happened to be a human sacrifice. Boy I can pick im'. This is why I was and am excited to date you. You generally like me. You're excited to see me. You want to be around  _me_. You want to listen to me because you like me! None of it's fake with you."

"O-oh. I'm sorry, Bill. I thought you would have only dated exceptionally... cool? Cool people. I didn't think you'd ever get stuck with someone awful like that. That's... really stupid of me, now that I think of it. I keep putting you on a pedestal, and I don’t think you would get stuck in these awful situations like the rest of us do because of it. I know that's not true, especially now, and I am trying not to do it because it's not fair to you at all-"

"It's alright, IQ."

The boat rocked a bit when a wave passed by, gently jostling the couple inside. For a moment, neither one of them spoke.

"No... It's not. You're a human being, Bill. You're not an idea, or some ideal-"

"Gonna stop you right there, Brainiac. I am not a human being." Bill did not bother to look up at him, his head still resting on his chest.

"Wha- yes, you are. You're a person, Bill-"

" _No,_  Stanford. I am not. I'm not a human. What human could rip apart a demon  _the long way_."

"I... I don't-"

"Exactly, and just like you, I don't know either!" He made a face and wrapped his fingers in Stanford's shirt. He pulled at it, scowling deeper.

Stanford went quiet, waiting for Bill to lose the death grip on his shirt. "You know I... I think I know what you are."

Bill craned his neck upward to look at him. "Oh yeah? And what's that, smart guy?"

"Well... you're a friend. You're a business owner. You're brave. You're funny! You make  _me_  feel like a person and not a... a freak. I am so sorry you feel this way, and that you're lost in this. You don't have to be though, I can... I can be there for you, like you are for me. I want to help you with this. I care for you, I don't want you to suffer like you are, and I won't let you do it alone. I-if you will have me."

Bill sat up slowly, staring down at Stanford who propped himself up on his elbows. He gave Bill a small smile, and adjusted his glasses. He searched his face for a moment, nodding slowly. "You mean it."

"I do. We can figure this all out together."

Bill eased himself back down, resting his head once more on his chest. "Very well, Fordsy. I'll take your help. However, don't forget to hold up your end of the bargain! I told you my story, now it's your turn. Last ex. Annnnnnd go." 

Stanford shifted. "I... I never had an ex. The closest thing I had was a date to the prom. That didn't go well, as you can imagine. My date asked me, but it was a prank. She never wanted to go with me, she thought it would f-funny to ask me to go. Her friends humiliated me once we got there, and I ah... I never bothered until you to try and have a relationship. I thought anyone who was interested in me might not actually be. That they... they might be trying to play a prank on me."

Bill's arms circled around him, adjusting their positions so they were facing each other. "I'm sorry, Stanford. I really, really am. You didn't deserve that. What did Stanley say?"

"This was after the science fair."

" _Oh_." Bill pulled him closer. "But hey, things are better now. We're all here, in Gravity Falls. We open back up tomorrow, you get started on your research- Fiddlesticks will be back in town to visit soon. And we even have a real bang up spot for you to put your many doctorates." He cupped the side of Stanford's face, catching a glint of sadness in his eyes. He made a slight face. "And uh... I think, in honor of this momentous occasion, you should pick a card!" He removed his hand and waved it in the air, bringing up a blue deck of tarot cards adorned with all seeing eyes on the back. They hovered in the air above them. "Tell us what our fate will be, oh all-knowing Sixer."

Stanford snorted out a laugh and shook his head. "You sound like my mother. Alright, alright. But only because you materialized a deck out of the air and magic is phenomenal." He reached out and pulled out a card. "And the Great, All-Knowing Sixer predicts that we will face-" He flipped the card over. The face of the card was full of blue flames, and a large eye which took up most of the design. Stanford flinched at the words."-Death."

"That-that's not necessarily bad, you know." Bill cleared his throat. "We all did just go through some heavy change. More is likely coming. Things can't stay the same. It's an absolute end to the past, and a transition on to something new. Good pick, Six."

"Yes." Stanford cleared his throat as the crickets around the nearby bank began to chirp louder. "A good pick indeed. Bill... May I ask one more question?"

"Of course, Six. I told you I was your open book tonight."

"That night you met Stanley, in the trunk of a car. What... what happened?"

Bill pursed his lips, shutting his eyes. "From when we met in the trunk?"

"Yes, if you'd be so obliged." 

Slowly, Bill sat up, the boat rocking from side to side with the new motion. He brushed his thick, curly hair back, his eye glowing softly in the darkness. "I too was in the trunk, but I was there before Stanley. It went like this-"

_"No- no. No please! I'll get Rico's money! I will make sure he's paid back double what I owe! N-no, even better! Triple!"_

_Bill listened to the words of a frightened man. He quickly pressed himself to the back of the trunk, doing his best to look like nothing more than a tarp. The trunk was opened up, and a body was thrown in. The man was immediately pleading much like he was before._

_"Shut up,_ _Pinington_ _! It's not going to save you. The boss decided what's going to happen_ _to_ _you in the morning_ _. There's no changing his mind now._ _"_

_There was laughter from the men outside of the car, and Bill ducked his head. The trunk slammed down and they were in darkness once more._ _The men's laughter grew more faint, leaving the two of them alone once more._

_Stanley's quiet sobs filled the small space of the trunk._ _"_ _Oh god, oh god! I'm going to die, I'm really,_ _actually_ _going to die! Oh, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, I'm sorry ma-"_

_"Hey. Hey- it's okay!"_

_He let out a screech that made Bill flinch._

_"Calm down! It's okay, I swear it's okay. My name's Bill." He shifted out from the back of the trunk, wiggling until he was resting beside Stanley. "What's your name?" Bill's words did not land on Stanley, as he scrambled against the side of the trunk._

_"Y-your eye! Why's it glowing?! What's wrong with it?!"_

_Bill swallowed thickly. "_ _Er_ _\- it's my contact. I got special ones to alter my eye. Makes me look scary. I'm not a really good henchman, I'm not very intimidating._ _"_

_"Oh. Oh, okay. I guess that makes sense, Bill." Stanley's breathing_ _slowed. "Is that why you're in the trunk?"_

_"Huh? Oh. Right. Yeah, I ah... I really fucked up."_

_"Hah, join the club." Stanley gave a bitter laugh. "They_ _gonna_ _get rid of you too?"_

_"Probably, yeah." Bill fiddled with his fingers. "What's your name?_ _Pinington_ _?"_

_"No, no. It's Stanley. Stanley Pines. If I'm going to die, I want someone to know what my name actually is. Y-you said your name is Bill, right? Bill what?"_

_"Cipher."_

_"Bill Cipher? Seriously? No way_ _. That's the most made up name I've ever heard. What the hell kind of a name is that?"_

_"It's my name_ _."_

_Silence passed over of them, until it was broken by Stanley's_ _laugher. "I'm sorry-" Stanley began,_ _w_ _iping_ _tears from his face. "It's not funny at all, but I... I needed a laugh. Thanks, pal. I'm sorry we're both going to die in the morning. H-hey, maybe they'll let us go out together. Two birds, one stone, right? I don't really want to go alone."_

_Bill reached out for_ _Stanley's zip tied hands_ _in the darkness, covering one of them_ _with his own. Stanley's thick fingers squeezed around his thin ones. Bill_ _opened his mouth to say something when a thick thud came from above them._

_"Hey_ _Pinington_ _! Ready to go for a ride? The boss wants you appropriately terrified for the big day tomorrow morning! He's got something real special planned for you. But as long as you're still breathing, we can have our fun!"_

_Stanley's fingers tightened around his, squeezing_ _desperately_ _. Bill moved closer to him, whispering in his ear. "Don't worry. I'll protect you."_

_Stanley nodded, leaning in to Bill when the car started up._ _They drove in silence, as Bill's mind was busy counting the number of seconds until they left the compound. Uneven road made them shift and bounce along, until the car came to a complete stop. Their slow, leisurely footsteps to the trunk, their footfalls crunching over broken road made Stanley cringe and bury his head in their hands._

_"Alright, let's get him out of the trunk. The boss says we can go for the legs. He won't need_ _im_ _' tomorrow. He won't need to stand."_

_The latch of the trunk clicked_ _, and in a fluid motion, it was kicked open by Bill's long legs. He leaped out of the trunk, on to the two men. His elbow connected with a jaw, his fist with a nose. His hands grabbed at a suit coat, swinging one man into another until he was the only one standing. "Okay, see? I protected you." Bill reached into the trunk, and pulled Stanley out. "Hands."_

_Stanley offered them with no hesitation, watching in awe as Bill snapped the zip tie off as if it were a piece of paper. "You're stronger than you look. No offense, or anything. You're right, you're not really intimidating at all. You're like... a weirdly_ _beautiful man."_

"A  _weirdly beautiful man_? That's what he had to say after you rescued him?" Stanford let out a long sigh.

Bill snickered and threw an arm over Stanford. "I did straighten and feather my hair back then. Now I prefer the more natural look. ...Not that it makes me any more or less weirdly beautiful, mind you. It was the start of the best friendship I've ever had in my entire life. I'm so glad I was in that car, Fordsy. You don't even know." 

"I like the natural look. ...Thank you for saving my foolish brother. I don't know what he did to make himself a target for goons, but... Actually, I have no idea where I am going with this. I'm just going to leave it there."

Bill laughed, and then picked up the death card which was resting on Stanford's chest.  He stared at it for a moment. "As much as I'd love to ask you a question, let's get back to shore. It's getting late and I ah... I have something on my mind."

"So do I." Stanford grin was small. "Mainly you ripping a demon in half the long way."

"Ah, yes. Bebhxal. He deserved it. I owe you the whole story one of these days, Fordsy. You got anything  _else_  on your mind?"

Stanford started up the engine, looking over to Bill with a slight blush. "Nothing that I would ever admit to in good company." 

Bill grinned at him, wagging his eyebrows. "Oh, and what makes you think I'm good company? I might be saucy company who would love to hear what you don't want to admit to." 

Ford leaned over and kissed his cheek. The boat cut through the water, heading toward the dock. "That's more of a date seven topic."

A slow smile grew across his face. "Ohhhh ho ho ho. I see what you did there, Fordsy. Taking my date extortion tactic and made it your own. I'm impressed!"

"What can I say? I learned from the best."

-

Stanley stared bleary eyed at the text message on his phone. His eyes watered, and he groaned.  _Meet me downstairs in the kitchen_ _\- Bill._ "It is three in the morning." He said to his phone, and then rolled over on to his back. " _It is three in the morning_." He waited a good few minutes before dragging himself out of bed. "It is three in the morning." His words were mumbled as he shoved his legs into his pants. He stumbled down the stairs, bumping into the walls and nearly bumping into his display.

Bill was sitting at his kitchen table, dressed in a Backupsmore hoodie and a pair of jeans. When he had last seen him hours before when everyone went to bed, he was not dressed the same way. "It is three in the morning."

"Yes. I know." He pushed away from the table and stood up. He lifted up Stanford's hoodie to reveal the gun belt and the pair of revolvers.

Stanley straightened up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Alright. I'm... I'm awake. What's going on?"

"We need to get rid of these."

"Wh-what?  _Why_? What if he comes back, won't he want them-"

"-If he comes back, I'll incinerate him."

The words came out so quickly, Stanley flinched. Bill's eye was a narrow slit. He blinked and squinted. "Your eye-"

"Look, Stanley. We worked hard for this life. I am  _done_  with people trying to ruin our lives. I am willing to do what it takes to scare him or  _anyone else_  away from here." 

"But what about your powers, what if-"

He slammed his hands on the table, the dim light of the kitchen reflecting off his yellow eye. He chewed on his lip, his expression furrowed. He let out a long, hard sigh through his nose. "I'm not scared of people finding out I'm different if it means protecting you and Stanford." He clenched his hands into fists, and stared at him with a raw look. "I'm not scared of the government when it comes to you two. You're... you're my family." 

Stanley's arms slowly fell to his sides. "Bottomless pit, then?"

Bill gave a hard, single nod.

"Alright. Let's go. Do you want to take the Stanley Mobile?"

"No. If Stanford wakes up, I don't want him thinking we left." Bill lead the way out of the Shack, quietly shutting the door. He flipped the hood up over his head. "Uh, do you think he heard my outburst?"

"Nah." Stanley shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "Stanford's always been a pretty heavy sleeper. It took me forever to wake him up the first weekend he stayed here." They started down the side walk, heading for the forest line. "So uh, what brings this on?"

"Fordsy got the Death card on our date. Means change is coming. "I figured I'd start that by getting rid of some of my past by throwing it into the bottomless pit like a mature, responsible adult." He swallowed thickly. "I guess I owe you some kind of explanation, though."

"That'd be nice."

"Right." Bill rubbed the back of his neck. "I was Rico's personal body guard. I was with him most hours of the day. He had me trained when I first came there at seventeen until the day I escaped with you. He viewed me as his replacement to the business." He folded his arms across his chest, tucking his hands against his sides. "I just... I didn't want to do that! You know he tried to kill me when I first met him? If I didn't have my powers, he would have-"

Stanley stopped Bill, spinning him around so they were face to face. " _He knows you have powers_?"

Bill reached up to the pulls on Stanford's hoodie until the hood closed as much as it went.

"God _damn it_ , Bill! Did you leave on bad terms with him?"

Bill chewed on his bottom lip. "Not really, no. Not... at all, actually."

"What!"

He fiddled with his fingers, fidgeting in place. "He treated me like a son-"

Stanley raked a hand through his hair, looking at him wide eyed. "Oh, this just keeps getting  _worse._ You have to tell me what is going on, Bill. No more of this 'it's fine' shit, because this is so far beyond what is fine that it isn't even funny anymore. ...Not that it was funny to begin with." He reached out and grabbed Bill's arm. "You  _have_  to tell me everything."

"I don't like talking about it!"

" _I don't care_!" Stanley threw his hands up. "Bill, come on. You said it yourself! You don't want to put us in danger, but you are by not telling at least me everything!" Crickets chirped around them on the largely abandoned street. He took hold of Bill's arms. "Why were you in the back of that trunk, Bill?  _Tell me_." When Bill gave him a tightlipped expression, Stanley's face crumbled. " _Bill_. Please. It's me, it's Stanley."

"T-that's the thing, Stanley. You  _don't_ get it. He wanted me to kill somebody with these guns, it's a rite of passage for the next in line to the business. He said he had a guy, that he was keeping him for just such an occasion. T-that he was bringing him in that night, and going to keep him on ice, just for me to shoot at dawn. I didn't want to kill anyone! Even as his bodyguard, I always disabled the threat! I didn't want to kill anyone! So after he dismissed for the night, I went out to the yard where we kept all the death cars. Ya know, the ones where we'd either store bodies in, or leave people in them until it was time to..." He made a cutting motion across his throat.  "Or however else they were slated to die. It was just easier to put them in there. At least that's what the death team said." He shrugged a shoulder. "I thought maybe I could find the person I was supposed to kill in the morning and let them go. I checked all the cars, but no one was there.  I heard voices coming so I hoped into one of the cars. The one at the very end of the line, as it was the easiest to get into the trunk... You know how it went from there. You were there with me not more than five minutes later."

The color drained out of Stanley's face. "Y-you were supposed to-"

"I was supposed to kill you."

Stanley backed up until he was butt up against one of the empty stores. "Holy shit."

"I never wanted to kill you! Most certainly not  _now_. When I saw you in the trunk, y-you were so scared. Actually, you're uh... making the same face... as you did in the trunk." He winced and rubbed the back of his neck.

"D-did you know?"

"That you were the one I was supposed to kill? As soon as they tossed you in the back of the car, I knew. But I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to kill you even before I knew you. Did I know I would wind up staying with you all these years? No. Did I think I was going to love you as much as I do? No. But I'm glad I have you in my life, Stanley. You know I'd do anything for you. Does this really change anything?"

"Yes it does, Bill. Y-you gave up all that with Rico for me. You probably didn't have to worry about food, or shelter, or anything. I saw the suits he gave you higher ups. They were  _really nice_  suits. And that compound? Forget about it. You coulda went back after you saved me."

Bill rubbed at his arm, not looking at Stanley. "Well, I didn't want to. I wanted to stay with you."

"Jesus." Stanley rubbed at his cheeks, ridding himself of the tears streaming down his face. "Why would you ever pick me? No one picks me."

Bill reached over and pulled him into a hug. "I picked you. I'd still pick you." Stanley's arms wrapped tight around him. "I'd  _always_  pick you."

"Yeah.  _Yeah_."

Bill felt Stanley nodding against him, and they pulled apart. He patted his gun belt beneath his borrowed hoodie. "Come on, let's go throw these away. It's been a really long night, and I want to get back to sleeping with your brother."

"Hey hey hey. That I don't need to know." Stanley chuckled and nudged Bill as they walked. It was not long before they were soon in the woods, facing the blackness of the bottomless pit. A stale breeze wafted out from in, the stench of something ancient enveloping them both. Bill lifted his hoodie, unbuckling the belt, and holding it out at arm's length over the pit. He looked to Stanley, and gave him a nod. He opened up his hand, and let the leather slip right from his hand. It sank into the darkness. They watched it fall until it was no 

"It's over." Stanley reached over and grabbed his shoulder. "Let's go home."

Bill closed his fingers over Stanley's hand. With a nod, they started back.

-

In the morning, Bill walked over to his shop. He opened the door, whistling to himself. Stanford was off exploring the forest for the day for research, Stanley was set to open at his usual time. He headed into the main parlor, groaning at the sight of a plastic portable card table where his good table once sat. "Forgot about that." He ran a hand over grimy top, wiping his hand on his pants after. "You don't even look good dusty. You're demoted when I find your replacement."

He glanced up, catching sight of a worn leather belt, and a pair of revolvers on the counter. His breath caught in his throat, his heart was suddenly in his shoes. He shook, staring at the glinting metallic. He shuddered, recognizing the cracked leather.

Right next to it was a note, tucked under the belt.

He took heavy, small steps forward, until his feet collided with his counter. He stumbled over it, grasping at the belt, and the note. His fingers trembled as they opened up the note, the words burning perfect pink cursive into his mind.

_You may need these one day._

He traced a finger over the cursive.

_You may need these one day._

He opened his wallet, removing an old, faded piece of paper. He carefully unfolded it, resting it beside the new piece of paper. The old one was written in the same style of hand writing, in the same color pen. Slowly, meticulously, his finger traced over the words he had read countless times before. Social services found it pinned to the bassinet on the doorstep of a government building when he was what they assumed was days old.  _His_ _name is Bill Cipher_.

They were one in the same.

He drew in a sharp, shuddering breath and pushed away from his counter to make way for the door. It slammed open against the yellow bricks, and he let out a hollered shout as he looked madly from side to side for any clue as to who could have gotten in to his locked shop. The shout was of no word, no describable sound and another got caught in his throat, only to come out as some garbled attempt at a scream.

 _Gone._ Whoever they were, they were  _gone_.

 His legs gave out and he grabbed onto the lamp post for support. His head swam, his legs got weaker until he found himself on the ground. He let his head rest against the surface, and shut his eye. "My parents,  _my parents_."

"Excuse me."

Bill stiffened, and looked over his shoulder at Preston Northwest. He let out a sigh, making no move to get off the sidewalk. He forced several big gulps of air down his throat to try and calm down. When he spoke, his voice was soft and raw. "What can I do for you today, Northwest? And whatever it may be, can it wait?"

Preston pulled out a handkerchief from his breast coat pocket, and unfolded it. He sat it down on the ground, sitting on it beside Bill. "No, business never waits."

"Business?" Bill's hands slowly unwound from the lamp post he was clinging to. "Does this involve the terrible painting you're forcing on me?"

"No, but it could. I would like to offer you a deal."

"A deal!" Bill clapped his hands on his legs. "You're offering me a deal? How funny. I normally I'm the one making the deals! Alright, Northwest. What have you got that I can't resist? Lay it on your old pal, Bill."

"I would like be your unpaid intern."

Bill blinked and stared at him. He furrowed his brow, then scratched at the back of his head. "You want to—what?"

"An unpaid internship. As a matter of fact, I'll pay you. One thousand dollars per forty-hour work week."

Bill folded his fingers together. "Now, I'm not going to say that isn't one hell of a deal. But I don't understand  _why_ you're offering it to me. I mean, other than me being great, why in the many hells would you ever want to pay me to be my intern?"

"Because  _you_  are the one person on the face of this Earth who isn't afraid to give me a task. You made me sweep your floor. Me. Sweep a floor! No one  _ever_  tells me what to do, from my teachers to my overpaid ivy league school! You, however, simply gave me a broom, told me to do a job. ...I need this. I need to learn about running a business from someone who isn't afraid of my last name. How am I going to succeed at anything if no one will give me a chance? I can't run a business without knowing how!"

"...You make a good argument. Alright. I'm not going to say no to one thousand dollars a week." He got up to his feet, and started for his shop. "I never had an employee of any kind, so... this is going to be new for the both of us." He held open the door for Preston to come inside and went straight for the counter. Before they could be noticed, he slipped the guns in a drawer and place the pieces of paper back into his wallet.

"So. Is this all a fortune telling business? Can I learn this business, or is this some deep held technique I can't learn?"

"Nah." Bill waved his hand flippantly. "I learned fortune telling from youtube. And to be honest, I make more money on my tea business than I do on my novelty business." He gestured to a bookshelf of packages of tea in brightly colored packages. "I grow the tea myself, and make my own blends. And then I offer a package deal. One cup of fresh hot tea, with a tea leaf reading after. It works pretty well. People like the tea, they wind up buying a package of it after the reading."

Preston picked up a package. He made an impressed noise and looked to Bill with wide eyes. "That's smart."

"Know your market, Northwest. Now. What are you doing this evening? I need a new table, and its garbage night. We should be able to pick out a good one, and work on restoring it tomorrow."

Preston's face scrunched up. "Garbage picking...? I could just give you a table."

"Nah. Where's the fun in that?"

-

It was getting to be dusk when Stanford Pines got a message. He opened up his phone, blinking at the picture of Bill with another man, carrying a beat-up table. The other man looked filthy and disheveled. His suit was mussed, and his short brown hair was sticking up in different places. He looked like Preston Northwest, the one he was stuck riding back home with after the spider incident. If that was the case, whatever adventure he went on with Bill left him more disheveled than being a spider victim. He debated calling Bill, wondering what was going on. The din from the summer insects, owls, and other animals would have been too distracting however. He did not have to wait long before another message came through, hopefully to explain the picture.

_Me and the unpaid_ _intern :_ _)_

"Oh." He opened his mouth, and then closed it in realization. "Hm." He put his phone in his back pocket. Some things were better explained in person. He glanced up at the sky, and the slowly setting sun. Pinks exploded across the sky, slowly fading into purple. Soon, he was going to be in the dark. He reached into his leather messenger bag, where his journal and some of the artefacts he found were safely tucked in. One of them happened to be a gold all seeing eye triangle. It was small, fitting neatly inside of his palm. He ran his thumb over the rounded eye and the brick work. There was something familiar about the shape, about the eye. His fingernail traced around the outline of his eye, he found himself mumbling Bill's name over and over, the words slowly turning into a language which sounded like pure gibberish to his ears.

Stanford got up to his feet quickly, shoving the artefact into his messenger bag. He ran a hand over his face, and then placed it on his bag. He gasped for air, his hand trembling uncontrollably as he gripped the leather. He licked at his lips, sliding his hand back inside to pull out the triangle once more.  Sweat trickled down the side of his face, crawling down his neck. His heart beat began to race and pound, with all of the hair on the back of his neck and his bare arms standing straight up. He gritted his teeth, and with a grunt, he hurled the triangle as far away as he could into the forest.  _Go home go home go home._

His feet hit the grass hard with each step, his breathing growing more labored the longer he ran down the hill toward the town. All the sounds of the forest from earlier had stopped.  His feet ceased to touch the ground, and his body floated up into the air briefly before he came crashing down to the surface. He rolled down until he was at the bottom of the hill, his glasses smashed and his skin was torn up from the tumble. Grass was stuck all through this hair. "A-ahh..." He dragged himself to his feet, favoring one side over the other. He looked around to the best of his ability with broken glasses. Nothing seemed to have fallen out of his bag.

The sounds of car alarms going off from the sudden loss and gain gravity rang in his head louder than they should have been. He let out a whimper, covering his ears.

_Go home go home go home._

 He took a step toward the town, only to find himself losing the ground once more. He lunged for the grass, his fingers scraping the ground. He let out a gasp and a shout for Bill as he was lifted up once more. 

He made it up to the branches, scrambling to grab them to stop him heading upward. The gravity quickly returned, and he was on the ground once more. He laid on his back, tears rolling down his face. Every part of him pounded and pulsed in pain. His back sang, and each breath he took felt heavy on his chest. He reached for his phone in his pocket, his fingers stumbling over it. 

There was a sizable crack in the screen. When he tried to swipe his finger across it, nothing happened. A sound of frustration escaped him. His hand and phone fell to his side. He watched it lift up into the air, and the weightlessness claimed him once more. " _No_ -"

Arms circled his middle and stopped his floating. "It's alright, Stanford. I've got you." Bill's face flooded his vision, and Stanford gave a hard sob.

"Bill-!" He reached out and clung to him. "Wh-what's going on?"

"I don't know." Bill's grip tightened. "I've got your brother, and the unpaid intern safe and sound at the house. I hoped you would have been back by now."

He looked up to him, his smile weak. He let out another sob, and wanted desperately to cling to Bill. He saved him again, came to his rescue. In the back of his mind, he knew it could only be Bill. Only Bill could survive something like this with absolutely no effort as they were on the ground while everything else was floating above them. Bill's curly hair remained exactly where it was, while Stanford's was standing up. "Y-you're always saving me. H-how... how are you not effected by the loss of gravity?" His vision was fading around the edges. He heard the sounds of crashing objects and the rush of gravity returning to his own body. 

"Your guess is as good as mine, Fordsy. You're safe with me. I'm going to take you home." 

 Bill's voice was growing faint as blackness swallowed whole, but it did not stop the smile from staying on Stanford's face.

-

"How is he?" Stanley's voice was low as he tried to peer over Bill's shoulder at Stanford.

"The same way he was the first time you asked. Sleeping peacefully. I healed him up, but he's going to need the sleep." He smoothed Stanford's hair off to the side to keep it out of his way. "He'll wake up like new tomorrow. ...You know, the healing powers are the ones I never minded having. I don't know where I'd be without them." 

"Right. Good. Great. And... yeah. Thanks for patching him up." Stanly shoved a hand through his hair. "Bill, what the  _hell_  was that?" 

"I don't have the slightest idea." He stood up and folded his arms over his chest. "Is Preston still downstairs?"

"Yeah. The little weasel is running the front desk." Stanley shook his head. "Are you sure you want to keep him around? I mean, what good is he?"

"He's paying me one thousand dollars a week to be my intern."

Silence fell over them both. Stanley blinked a few times and cleared his throat. "I... uh, if he wants any  _extra_  pointers about anything..."

Bill snickered and shook his head. "I'll keep that in mind." His expression quickly turned serious. "...Stanley, we have to see what caused the loss of gravity."

" _We_? Why do  _we_  have to do that? Isn't that the job of the police, or I don't know- not us?" Stanley threw up his hands. "It's probably something spooky doing something spookier in that damn forest-"

"No, I don't think it's something from one of the residents, unless it's..."

"Your ex?" Stanley pursed his lips.

"He did say he needed my blood to feed his lord. Maybe he succeeded in doing that with some other unwilling sacrifice. Maybe his "lord" is now resurrected or whatever. I don't know! We have to go check it out. It's our responsibilit-"

"Noooo no no no. No, it's not. We're a couple of con artists, Bill. We're not really masters of the paranormal, that's not how this goes! Since when are we the hero type anyway? That's not even in our business model-"

"I dated him! I feel... I don't know, weirdly responsible for his stupid actions, and I don't want to be surprised if he decides to exact revenge on the two of us. Wouldn't you rather be prepared for that?"

Stanley grimaced and ran a hand down his face. "I'll go... get a weapon or something."

-

After an hour of walking around the forest, Bill stopped suddenly. He lit his hand up in a wreath of blue flames, extending it outward. "Look." He murmured, pointing to a series of foot prints in a wide circle in the middle of a clearing.

"What, that's nothing. It's just a bunch of foot prints. So some teenagers probably came up here to screw around. That's noth-"

"No.  _Really_ _look_ _._ This ground is soft. There's no leading foot prints to this area. They suddenly appear in that area." Bill hovered up off the ground as to not mess up what was there. He grabbed hold of Stanley, making him float alongside of him. He wobbled unsteadily for a moment until he relaxed enough to remain upright by Bill's side. "See? It looks like there's two of them. A man and a woman, based on the shape of the shoes in the prints."

Stanley squinted at them. "...They fell. There's a body imprint there, and one over there." He looked around, and floated away from Bill. On the ground by the brush a few feet away was an opened book. The pages were mostly blank and disheveled. He picked it up, and closed it. The blue book had a pine tree on the cover, and a number 6 written on top of it. "I found this. One of them most of dropped it when they fell. Uh... from where they would have fallen, I have no idea. They couldn't've come from the trees, they're too far back."

Bill looked upward and squinted hard. "We have some visitors hiding out in these woods. And unless aliens are suddenly wearing ladies' flats and sneakers, I've got no idea who that could be, how, or even why."

"Yeah, but where did they go? There's no footsteps leading away." 

"Maybe they left. Maybe here's not where they were supposed to be. We lost gravity a bunch of times." Bill's frown deepened. "Or... or maybe they were taken. ...Stanley, maybe they're... I don't know. Maybe it's my parents?" Bill swallowed thickly. "I found a message from them today, or-or at least one of them. It's the same writing, in the same color pen."

"Bill, I don't know-"

"What  _else_  could have made gravity vanish, Stanley? It  _has_  to be them. Or-or maybe more people like me? You know how  _great_ that would be? For once I... I wouldn't be the only one with all of these weird powers! We have to find them!"

Stanley winced and rubbed the back of his head. "I uh, yeah- I agree we have to find whoever it may be, I just...  don't get your hopes up, Bill." 

"Too late!" He replied cheerfully. "Ready to be the Men of Mystery? I-"

Stanley's hand gripped tightly around his. He gave him a serious look, and squeezed his hand once more.

Bill's expression softened. "I uh... I guess I'll remain cautiously optimistic. Is that better?"

"Yes. Let's go find out who came for a visit. They might need some help. The later it gets in the forest, the harder and more dangerous it will be to find them." Stanley shrugged a shoulder, ignoring the sinking feeling flooding his body as he floated off into the darkness with Bill. 

END. 


End file.
